A little known fact about me is that in addition to business law subjects I have sometimes taught Admiralty and Law of the Sea. This subject, which I refer to as "The Law of Boats" is one that has interested me for many years although I never practiced in the area.
I recently received the following poem composed about the class from one of my favorite students of all time, Will Wysong. Although it may never challenge the Rime of the Ancient Mariner for literary greatness, it is perhaps the most doctrinal poem ever written, at least about Admiralty. Here it is, in its original form from Will's notes in my Admiralty class.
This is an essay on the law of admiralty,
it governors the boats that bring goods to you and me.
If in tort you must have both nexus and locality,
While in contract it must have been made on the sea.
For locality it must meet two factoral;
caused by or occur out past the littoral.
Also, Navigable waters is the key phrase,
meaning take place on the water high-ways.
It could also be caused by something a-float,
as long as it reasonably looked like a boat.
While I didn’t learn much by using lexus-
I still must consider the water-way nexus.
If ocean going traffic comes to a halt,
then for disrupting maritime traffic you would be at fault.
In contract it must generally be maritime,
mixed-good contracts, however, are reviewed line-by-line.
Or if it has a substantial sea component
Then admiralty it is, see you in court, opponent.
Contracts that count are to supply or guide ships,
Ones that don’t count are to build or sell it.
Civ pro and Jurisdiction are boring and trite,
But concurrent or exclusive gives you the right.
See you in court bad-guy defendant,
there’s no jury right under the 7th amendment.
9h elections are confusing as hell,
but so was the case about ringing a bell.
A right to a jury is common sense
If a single occurrence cometh from whence.
There is no removal to leave admiralty,
But out of state court if you have diversity.
In rem will arrest,
If verified you attest
In personem will parlay
If D falls under rule 4k.
Attachment is when you are trying to se-cure,
But in rem it is not, nor against the world, for-sure.
Part two of the class was the law of the sea
It governs the distances that partition the sea.
From 200 hundred to 3 nautical mile
Making our national territory worthwhile.
Zero to three belongs to the state
Unless Texas or Florida then 3x the rate.
Three to twelve is the territorial sea
Which they use to protect citizens like you and me
Over twelve but less than twenty plus four,
Allows for enforcement so we don’t go to war.
Over 24 creates problems internatíonal
High seas start where? What’s the rational?
We also covered the rule for a bay
Which counts as an inter-state waterway.
With the right concave bend and 24 miles across
Will give state control to act like the boss.
To discover the baseline
Look at the low mean tide
We count water breaks
and harbors that limit wakes
but not docks and piers
that arrive and disappear
Submerged or outer centennial pact,
We must apply the appropriate act
Not artificial islands for the sake of oil
Unless less than three miles where states own the soil.
Curious am I about the economic zone
For practicing is the navy flying their drones?
Conserving our national underwater resources
Intervening foreigners will receive forces
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